It is what it is.

This day chewed me up and spit me out. By eleven o'clock this morning I was ready for the day to be over. Between me finally getting over being sick, two boys fighting colds, and a weekend of late nights and none of us were ready to face this day.

It wasn't pretty. My new-found 'finding my strength in God' was stretched to the limits today. It is terrifying to me the hideousness that lives in my own heart and what little things can make it bubble to the surface.

Some people in real life have asked me how homeschooling is going. The answer is so complicated and I'm never quite sure what to say. It's complicated, yes, but also quite simple at the same time. Simple because I wouldn't trade our homeschooling life for what we had before while doing public school. The over-reaching answer is that homeschooling is going great. I am still fully convinced that we're right where we're supposed to be. But life is never that easy and I don't like pat, happy answers.

Because the pat, happy answers don't explain how very convoluted and difficult our homeschooling mornings can be. Honestly, if anyone had a window into my life, they would think I was forty shades of crazy for signing up for this lifestyle.

My kids don't behave most days. I am a very non-creative person, and therefore do not really know how to make the work fun. Most of the time it's just getting through the work that needs to be done and not one thing more. I cajole, beg, bribe, threaten, cry, scream, jump off a bridge... just kidding. Well, only on the last one. :) My boys don't understand why work needs to be done. They feel like school is a waste of their precious time.

But. I fully believe that the Lord brought us here, and He has faithfully provided the grace that we all need each and every day.

You search out my path and my lying down

    and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

    and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

    it is high; I cannot attain it.

Psalm 139:3-6