Learning all the time.

I was able to get my hands on a copy of How to Really Love Your Angry Child and just finished reading it today. Such a great read! I highly recommend it. I feel very jaded about most parenting books these days, and generally try not to read them anymore as I find them more discouraging than anything else. This one however, was an exception and I'm so glad I took the time to read it!

Basically, the author gives kids the permission to 'vent' their anger, and it is the parents' responsibility to learn to not in turn react in anger, intensifying the situation, and teaching nothing to the child in the process. The point is to use their angry moments to teach them how to handle their anger, not to get into a yelling argument with them, which only makes the whole thing worse. This is huge for me. It's something I always knew, yet never really quite realized how easily I could perpetuate my kids' anger. The author dedicated a whole chapter to the parent called, "Starting with the face in the mirror." So true. If I cannot learn to manage my own anger, then how in the world am I to teach my kids anything different? Responding to them with love and patience is absolutely key in handling explosive situations.

Another thing the author really stressed was to make sure your kids' "love tanks" are constantly being filled. In general, children are less likely to act out if they feel loved. This is a big generality, because of course even the most loved child is going to misbehave, but I figure it doesn't hurt to love on my kids a lot more than I have been known to do. It's just so easy to get stuck in my day and wish for bedtime to roll around instead of enjoying the little moments of spending time with them.

I've already put Calm Laura into practice and it really helps. It doesn't mean that there aren't tantrums being thrown, it just means that I am trying harder to keep myself from throwing a fit at the same time. I can stress enough how much it helps us resolve the issue at hand so much easier and so much more gracefully. Again, this is all stuff that I've always known I should be doing (keeping calm, not reacting in anger) but it really helps to be reminded of it every now and again. It's too easy to get stuck in a rut and start spiraling out of control.

Even if you don't have a child that you would classify as 'angry' this book is still very helpful and thought-provoking!