Half-full.

It seems like a week has passed since 7:00 this morning when I first got up. First of all, it was not our normal routine. Nicholas was sick and I kept him home from school. That threw us off a bit. Also, because Nicholas has been sick, because Jacob went to bed late last night, and because Amelia was awake from 12:00-2:00 this morning, I thought for sure they'd all sleep in. I actually uttered the words, "If the kids sleep in, don't wake us up since Nicholas isn't going to school anyway," to Lucas last night while crawling into bed. Ha. Ha. Ha. I find that when I utter things like that, it means I've pretty much jinxed myself of whatever it is I'm hoping for. SO, that was how my day started: absence of routine + hopes dashed of sleeping in = headache of epic proportions.

There were a couple of redeeming things from today though, which made the day a step above not worth living. 1. I was actually able to take a 40 minute nap. Let's mark that one on the calendar and celebrate it every year. 2. I read my Bible, which doesn't happen as often as it should these days. I read the whole book of Habakkuk. You wouldn't think at first glance that a young, 21st century mother would have much to learn from an ancient Old Testament prophet, but oddly enough, I found lots of encouragement from this little book. 3. In the car today, my most random child (Jacob) piped up from the back seat, "Mommy, knights steal things from people and they don't even say fank you! That is very bad!" I love my Cubba. His randomness never fails to make me smile. 4. Tim Horton's coffee with my mom this morning, although we didn't win anything in the roll up the rim contest. 5. Not having to take Nicholas to swimming lessons was a bonus.

So I guess the day was not all that bad. Actually, in the book I just read "Calm My Anxious Heart" the author pointed out that our perspective has a lot to do with how we feel about any given circumstance. If you think negatively about something, then the situation automatically becomes negative. If you choose to think positively, your outlook completely changes. And because I tend to be a glass-half-empty kind of person, life can look pretty dark sometimes. I don't think this is the way God wants me to be though, so I'm trying to make an effort to be more positive about things.

I recently asked an older, wiser, more experienced mother how she managed to raise four active boys and she said she prayed everyday for four things: wisdom, patience, love and humour. I think she is right. Things can look so much brighter if you can just see the funny side of things.

Okay, I'm ending the rambling right about now.

Four years ago.

This time four years ago, I was pacing around my mom's house, willing my very early labour to progress quickly. I wanted to have my baby before Christmas so I could get home in time for the festivities. I paced around Mom's until 8:30 in the evening, when my contractions started getting harder and closer together. Once I got to the hospital, they told me it was still very early and to go for a walk. I remember having a tea at Tim Horton's and then pacing up and down the hallway at the little mall on the bottom floor of the hospital. I remember sitting in the hospital lobby on an uncomfortable chair, crying on Lucas' shoulder because I felt so scared all of a sudden and the pains were getting more intense. When I couldn't stand it anymore we headed back and less than four hours later, at 2:48 in the morning, on December 22, my precious boy was born. I was so thrilled that my 19 month old son now had a baby brother to play with. I remember that he cried for two hours straight after he was born, while his daddy rocked him and sang to him. Then suddenly he found his little finger, started sucking and fell asleep. He was so cute and I loved him so much.

Fast forward four years and I now have a baby-turned-boy who I still love so very much. He is such a sweet boy and adds such a calmness to our family. He is right in the middle of two very loud and dramatic children, and sometimes I worry that he will get forgotten. He is quieter than the other two, but still stubborn as a mule when he wants to be. He is soft-hearted and gentle, kind and loving. He is my one child who is most likely to want a cuddle. He is the one who, after being separated from me for a few hours, will come running and throw his little arms around me. He loves to tease and loves reading funny books. He loves making up funny words and gave nicknames to both his siblings since he could talk. He loves his family and feels shy around strangers. He has a gorgeous smile and I love him more than words can say. I can't believe he is four tomorrow. Love you, Jacob! And happy birthday from Mommy.